For once I agree wholeheartedly with the utterings of Jacob Zuma, President of South Africa. He said it was not a good idea for black Africans to pamper dogs as the white people have a habit of doing.

“It’s the same thing as using hair straightening compounds,” he explained, “ straight hair doesn’t make you white and spending money on your dog at the vet doesn’t make you a whitey either.” He continued in this line by explaining to people like Vavi, secretary of some trade union, who says he is ‘proudly’ African, that this kind of ‘dog’ behaviour is not ‘In’ with African Culture. What this culture is all about remains unclear, as there is no written black language explaining it and what we know are the bits written down by white preachers who didn’t have much of a clue. Vocal memory does not mean much as is proved by the discovery of the famous Zimbabwe ruins. The last inhabitants of that edifice left 150-200 years before these ruins were discovered in the 18^th century. Yet, the people who lived right next to the remains of these massive structures were unable to shed the slightest ray of information about the builders.

Let’s get back to the dogs that bother Mr. Zuma, for me they’re a pain in the neck too. I live with my wife in quite a peaceful village, full of whiteys. And many of these bloody whiteys keep dogs that bark and shit and wander all over the place despite the restrictions that dogs must be kept on leash. These days when I walk to the shop to buy a newspaper, often I am accompanied by a cacophony of barks and yells. Dogs are a plague because the owners are still more stupid than their animals and can’t teach them manners.

Anyway, there’s not much chance that the whiteys of my village will soon adopt a proudly African no-dog culture despite Mr. Zuma’s mouthpiece, Mr. Maharaj, explaining what Mr. Zuma really said. He’s the proper fellow for such a job, he’s almost proved that the gouvernment hardly knew a thing about the 64 billion(?) arms deal.

Some old bugger said a long time ago to watch it what you wished for. Should I wish to live in a proudly African village with Zuma like cultured people that have no dogs that crap on my stoep or a whitey village with a dog culture?

Some bloody choice!