Lets have a few bits of South Africa this time, where I live it’s hot enough for that right now, 40°C. It is a bit of a hazardous undertaking in Africa when a white fellow like me criticises a black fellow because whatever you say will right away be painted over with the idiot racist brush. At times I wonder how our great cartoonist Zapiro gets away with his succinct depictions of our politicians (all black of course). Possibly because our Zapiro is in a world class of his own.

During the apartheid years a good harvest of black religious practitioners grew up, all paid for and belonging to white sponsored churches. That was an excellent idea as the pious Afrikaaners in government couldn’t be too hard on bishops and such like fellows and these religious folk could make themselves heard and not fall out of 10 storeys high buildings.

The most famous one we have is archbishop Tutu, one of the finest PR theologians you can wish to find anywhere. He has, like many of his black brethren a Nobel Peace Prize, it seems to be their speciality, the black fellow in the White House has got one too and even his god must know that he has made more war than that sod Bush before him. Which goes to show that peace appears easier to come by than chemistry and physics. Won’t be long and Bobby Mugabe from up north will get a peace thingummy also. Warlike fellows, those Scandinavians!

Lets get back to Mr. Tutu. He proclaimed a few days ago that a totally depraved murderer should not be called a monster because he is ‘A Child Of God’.

I’m bloody glad I’m not one!

This ‘Child’ did not like his wife anymore and so he had her gang-raped by a bunch of cronies and then shot dead her son. This bishop earned himself a fine epithet a number of years ago; The Weeping……..Clown. Fill in the space with ‘Mad’ to get it right.

We have whole bunch of ‘Leaders’ like this clown in our beloved country, many of them politicians who have now been given a free hand with our last Indian finance minister who is a softie. Before him we had a tough guy who refused to dole out the boodle to the commies, do-gooders and similar thieves. He didn’t want the country to go into debt like the stupid European welfare countries. Two years in succession he managed to produce a surplus. Those years I still had hope for this country, now, because of my age, I think I might just kick the bucket before our black political superstars break South Africa. We have an ex-president here who talks about ‘Knowledge’. He even pretends to have some. He is the same fellow who firmly believed that Aids could be cured by eating african potatoes with a dollop of garlic. I knew that fellow in England when some european country gave him enough money to go to some pisswilly social university in Sussex. His sole interest was shagging white girlies. Here he is considered an intellectual but I’m not sure whether Tutu thinks of him as a child of god.

Only 10% of the south african population pay income tax. Might that percentage be the safety barrier to keep our country functioning?

That’s not cricket, old boy! Apparently that used to mean that something was not above board. Not today. This game seems to have become so fraudulent in this country that the courts have their hands full to try and find out who crooked whom. Never mind, on the telly they manage to bore viewers 36 hours out of 24. 

Such a lovely shipwreck, we haven’t had one like that for a long time. Nothing comparable to the ‘Titanic’ of course but this four-striped gigolo did his best and his stricken ship will be visible a lot longer. Stubborn captain Edward Smith should have known more about icebergs, Francesco dares prattle about uncharted rocks in a little sea that has been sailed upon for at least 3000 years. It looks like the fellow did not know where Italy was situated. I don’t know whether any of you has had a good look at some of these cruise-liners. Tall blocks of flats dumped upon a sea-faring hull causing such a lateral wind resistance that if ever such a craft is caught out by gale and sea she will capsize. Any engine failure will be disastrous.

Many totally unseaworthy craft have been built for the last sixty years. Micheline and I often used to take car ferries between France and England and paid for a cabin, always! above the car deck. You see, those car decks stretch from bow to stern at sea level without any watertight bulkhead. Bows and sterns of these vessels are articulated to allow car access. I didn’t want us to wake up below a car deck full of seawater. A number of years later a ferry from Dunkerque didn’t close properly her bow doors and foundered. All those below the car deck drowned.

You want to go to sea, talk to me. 

Americans talk quite good english we’re led to believe. Yet when they talk about the soil from which just about all our food originates those people call the soil ‘dirt’.Soil, one of the greatest entities Gaïa, our planet, ever produced for our benefit is called ‘dirt’ by these people on the other side of the Atlantic. I can’t make it out.

“Yes, for 350 years you white people kept us in bondage but now we’re free!”

“Justlaik, man, and broke too. We tried to bleddy well teach you for 350 years and we never got anywhere!”

It would appear that South Africa has been having teaching problems for a long time.